


Movie Night

by Kaoru_chibimaster



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: FFXV kinkmeme, Gen, Prompt Fill, all of that was written from memory, despite the hp part i'm actually a huge nerd of the series, god i'm a nerd, pre-game, this is why we don't take the magic prince to fantasy movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-06 05:53:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10327202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaoru_chibimaster/pseuds/Kaoru_chibimaster
Summary: They really should have just gone to see that zombie movie...





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fill for this kinkmeme prompt:  
> https://ffxv-kinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/3016.html?thread=1802696#cmt1802696

“This is stupid.”

The chorus of groans that erupted from Noctis’ friends was only met with minimal shushing. They had chosen to go see a midday Sunday showing of the newest fantasy movie, Legend of the Crystal, for this exact reason. Noctis’ loudly voiced annoyance with fantasy movies wasn’t gonna fly in a packed theatre on a Saturday night. Not anymore. They weren’t completely alone; some others had likely come to the theatre so early for a quiet outing at a Sunday showing.

Unfortunately, they weren’t getting anything like that. Not in this particular theatre, at least.

Noctis’ friends loved him, really they did. They were as tight knit as any group could be. But sometimes they wondered if they should leave him out of movie night (or midday, as it is).

“No, I’m serious,” Noctis continued on, ignoring both the groans and the shushes. They were sitting the furthest in the back anyway, and the only other people there were up at the front. “They can call it whatever they want, ‘teleporting’ or whatever, but they’re obviously warping. It doesn’t even _look_ like that!”

Yet another chorus of protest met him. “It’s just a movie Noct” and “Don’t take it so seriously, dude” and “Highness, you’re disturbing the other patrons”. Maybe Noctis will keep quiet when producers stop basing all of their fantasy, magical bullshit on the magic of the actual crystal. It was clear they had no clue how any of it worked, and Noctis found himself only growing more irritated as the movie continued on.

He watched as yet another character ‘warped’ in a puff of green smoke (seriously, why was the crystal green?) across the open field, followed by a multitude of fellow warpers. It was like the crystal’s magic was handed out like candy. Sure the kingsglaive were able to warp, but only through his father’s power. According to this movie, literally anyone could use the crystal’s power.

And that wasn’t all…

“Seriously, where are all these animals coming from?!”

“Noct!” “Goddammit!” “Noctis, will you please!”

“No seriously guys, hear me out! This main character, Pretzel or whatever his name is, just waves his hands and creates a fucking chocobo out of nowhere?! The crystal can’t do anything like that! Life isn’t just poofed into existence, and it sure as hell isn’t made by the crystal. If that thing’s good at anything, hell it’s sucking the life out of things. The crystal is meant to be used as a source of power. Imagine how that would be abused if it could suddenly create life! We’d have no need for soldiers, we’d just make some. We’d be the new Niflheim, taking over the world with our army of manufactured fake people. Imagine if Niflheim got their hands on the crystal, while we’re at it. This entire thing is just wrong! And don’t get me started on—”

Noctis was ranting by this point. Ignis covered his face with his hand and sighed. Gladio, deciding to be more proactive, covered Noctis’ face with his hand instead. Noctis stopped talking, instead glaring down at the large hand covering the near entirety of his face. Prompto lifted his hands in an apologetic gesture to the rest of the meager audience, who were sending the group harsh glares. Really, they should have seen this coming. Noctis always threw a fit when they went to see fantasy movies. What with Lucis having its own brand of legitimate magic, it was easy for the movie industry to use the crystal’s magic and the royal family as baselines for their fantasy plots and powers. Unfortunately, Noctis’ lack of suspension of disbelief made it impossible to get through them without him criticizing something.

It was just as bad with books. Prompto would never forget their final year in high school when they were required to read the first book in The Lucii of the Rings trilogy and write a report on it. Noctis instead put their teacher through a twenty minute lecture on how the book had the Lucii entirely wrong, how it had the crystal entirely wrong, and how its complete lack of understanding on the ring of the Lucii was frankly insulting. The teacher waived his report grade on account of just wanting him to shut up, and Prompto had to wrestle the book out of Noctis’ hands just to stop him from setting the poor thing on fire.

At this point, they’d be lucky if Noctis didn’t set the screen on fire while he was at it. He’d settled for arguing with Gladio on why the movie was trash and they should’ve just gone to see a horror film instead. Well…Noctis was arguing his point. Gladio was just finding different ways to tell him to shut his trap.

In the midst of it all, Ignis cleared his throat loudly. The bickering stopped and Noct and Gladio sent him questioning looks. Silently, he nodded towards the front where one of the audience members had risen from their seat and was rushing down the side entrance. All four men watched in trepidation as the realization creeped up on them slowly.

“…We’re about to get kicked out again, aren’t we?” Prompto whispered. Ignis sighed and pushed his glasses up after they had slid down from his face-palming.

“It seems we are.”

“Right, not going through that again,” Gladio said, hefting Noctis up with one arm, while somehow keeping the other hand over his face, and dragging him down the side stairs. Ignis and Prompto got up to follow. They ignored the sighs of relief that followed them when they exited the theatre. Gladio set Noctis down, pulling his hand away from his face and looking down at his palm in mild disgust. He wiped his hands on his jeans as he sent Noctis an irritated look. The prince, for his part, looked entirely unapologetic.

“So, uh,” Prompto started, “what do we do now?”

“I told you guys we should’ve just seen that zombie movie,” Noctis griped. It wasn’t as if he didn’t realize his complaints about the fantasy genre grated on people. It was just that he wasn’t going to stop either way.

“Yeah, but we usually go see horror or action. I was just thinking we could do something different this time around,” Prompto sighed.

“Yes, but ‘something different’ usually ends up being a fantasy film, and well…as you can see that never quite works out,” Ignis replied. Noctis only shrugged, still incredibly unapologetic about the entire ordeal. Gladio rolled his eyes at Noct’s behavior and rubbed the side of his head, warding off a headache.

“Look, it’s around lunchtime anyway. How about we forget the movie and go grab a bite,” he said, not willing to wait around for the next show time of that zombie movie Noctis was asking about, or risk getting thrown out of the place for theatre hopping. And most definitely not in the mood for more complaining.

“And that’s another thing!” Noctis started anyway. “How the hell were they supposed to fixing sandwiches by just waving their fingers? You think if the crystal could do that I’d be surviving off of Specs’ meals?”

Ignis had to nearly choke down the sarcastic laugh that almost escaped at Noctis’ words. Prompto hid his own far more amused laughter behind his hand. Gladio opted to pull Noctis into a headlock, grimacing at him.

“Shaddup.”

-o-o-Bonus-o-o-

Noctis and his father settled down for their father-son movie night. These didn’t happen as often as they used to, but the two still found time at least every few weeks to enjoy at least a couple hours together without being in some stuffy council meeting, or an address to the public. They usually alternated between who chose the movie for the night: on Regis’ turns, he would find a classic movie that he had enjoyed as a child or teenager, and on Noctis’ turn, he would chose some sort of action or comedy or a combination of both.

This night however, they both agreed upon that they wanted to find out what all this Harry Potter rage was about. Noctis had borrowed the first movie from Prompto, who he knew was a total nerd over the series. He’d nearly mowed Noctis over while handing him the tape when Noctis had asked about it. With trepidation, he popped said tape into his vcr. His aversion to fantasy movies was well known on its own, but he couldn’t imagine how his father might take them. Nevertheless, they both sat down and relaxed as the tape started. Regis set his cane against the arm of the couch, slumping peacefully into his seat with the comfort that only his son would be present to witness it and wouldn’t really care. Noctis was just as eager to slump himself, in fact. The previews were fast-forwarded through, and the movie started.

Immediately, they were both frowning. What was this nonsense with the old man stealing light from the street lamps? A cat that changed into a woman? A _flying motorcycle_?! The movie continued and they found themselves frowning for different reasons. It wasn’t right, how the Dursleys treated their nephew. Wasn’t right at all. If anything, they found themselves more invested in the abuse of Harry’s family and how he was possibly going to get out of it.

And then the nonsense started again. Making glass disappear? Talking snakes? It got even more ridiculous when the letters started assaulting the family. And in the most cartoony move the movie could have possibly taken, suddenly the entire family moved to some stormy remote island to escape the attacking letters. What an absolute joke.

The man from the very beginning of the movie was back, the one on the flying motorcycle. Noctis and Regis found themselves conflicted on how to feel about this…Rubeus Hagrid person. On one hand, he flew motorcycles and bent shotgun barrels with his fingers. On the other hand, he was clearly meant to be Harry’s salvation. Yet instead of just whisking Harry out of that cartoony island escape, he pulled an entire cake out of his pocket and proceeded to go into an exposition spree about wizards. Good Shiva, by the time he had actually gotten the poor boy out of his personal hell, his cousin had sprouted a pig’s tail.

This was not how magic worked.

None of this was how magic worked. People didn’t turn into cats. People didn’t wave sticks of wood to make things happen. People didn’t fly on broomsticks. Gods know Lucis would be forever prosperous if food could just appear on the table out of nowhere. By the time a face was talking out the back of a man’s head, in the most obvious twist ever concocted, both father and son were just about done with the movie. Luckily for them, the movie was also done with itself.

By the time the credits were rolling, they were staring blankly at the screen. Regis turned to look at Noctis, a tired eyebrow raised. Noctis only shrugged in return. His mouth was pressed into a line and he was silent for a long moment…before a small snort escape. Regis found himself cracking a smile at that.

They finally burst into laughter.

Regis figured he had the perfect follow up in mind once their next movie night rolled around.

Perhaps he ought to show his son the movie Legend.

**Author's Note:**

> Despite using the name, they aren’t watching the Final Fantasy OVA: Legend of the Crystals. Can you imagine if they did see that though? I can imagine they’d probably die by the time they reached the glowing butt part. That is, if they didn’t walk out the moment that saw that skinned chicken—I mean, “chocobo”.


End file.
